Online dating can lead to great connections, but it’s also full of scammers, manipulators, and emotionally toxic people. In Part One, we covered red flags like love bombing, refusal to meet in person, and inconsistent stories. Now, let’s go deeper into more advanced scam tactics and manipulative behaviors—so you can protect yourself from deception.
🚩 1. They Do a Fake “Video Call” That Lasts Only Seconds
Some scammers will pretend to video call to trick you into believing they’re real.
🔴 What to Watch For:
• They quickly turn on the camera but the call disconnects within seconds.
• The video looks low-quality or lags, making it hard to see their face clearly.
• They blame bad WiFi or say they’re in a country with a poor connection.
✅ What to Do:
• Insist on a longer video call where you can have a full conversation.
• If the call cuts off multiple times, they may be using pre-recorded footage.
• Ask them to wave or hold up a specific object during the call—if they refuse, they’re faking it.
📌 Smart Question to Ask: “Let’s video chat for five minutes! I’ll wait while you find a good connection.”
🚩 2. They Use Narcissistic Manipulation When You Doubt Them
If you question their story, they get defensive, guilt-trip you, or threaten to leave.
🔴 What to Watch For:
• They act angry or deeply hurt when you ask reasonable questions.
• They say things like “If you really loved me, you’d trust me” or “You’re just like everyone else who has hurt me.”
• They try to make you feel guilty for doubting them, even when their story is suspicious.
• If you push back, they threaten to stop talking to you or “take their love away.”
✅ What to Do:
• Stay firm in your boundaries—manipulation is a major red flag.
• If they lash out or gaslight you, end the conversation.
• Healthy people welcome honest questions—scammers get angry when you don’t fall for their lies.
📌 Smart Question to Ask: “Why are you so upset about a simple question? A real relationship is built on honesty.”
🚩 3. They Claim Their Bank Account Was Frozen & Need Your Help
Scammers often say their bank account was blocked for fraudulent activity and they need money.
🔴 What to Watch For:
• They say their bank suspected fraud and froze their account, so they can’t access any money.
• They suddenly need help paying for food, a hotel, or a plane ticket home.
• They promise to pay you back once their bank fixes the issue.
✅ What to Do:
• Tell them to contact their bank directly—a real person would.
• Offer non-monetary solutions, like booking a flight for them—they’ll refuse.
• Never send money, no matter how convincing they sound.
📌 Smart Question to Ask: “Which bank do you use? I can look up their fraud policies for you.”
🚩 4. They Are a “Widow” Raising Kids Alone & Need Financial Help
A common scam is pretending to be a widowed single parent who is struggling financially.
🔴 What to Watch For:
• They say they lost their spouse in a tragic accident, illness, or military service.
• They claim they are raising one or two small children alone and need help.
• They bring up financial struggles and hint that they need money for the kids.
✅ What to Do:
• Ask specific questions about their kids’ daily lives—scammers often can’t give details.
• If they bring up money within weeks of talking, that’s a major scam sign.
• Check if their profile photos match their “single parent” story.
📌 Smart Question to Ask: “How do you manage childcare with your work schedule?”
🚩 5. They Say They’re Taking Care of a Sick Parent Abroad
Some scammers pretend to be taking care of a sick parent overseas to make you feel sorry for them.
🔴 What to Watch For:
• They claim they live in your country but are currently stuck abroad caring for a sick parent.
• They frequently bring up medical expenses and how hard it is to afford treatment.
• Eventually, they ask for money for hospital bills or travel expenses.
✅ What to Do:
• Ask why no other family members are helping.
• Look up medical costs in their “country”—scammers often exaggerate expenses.
• Never send money, even if they seem desperate.
📌 Smart Question to Ask: “What hospital is your parent being treated at?” (Scammers often won’t give details.)
🚩 6. They Threaten to Cut Off Contact If You Don’t Do What They Want
This is emotional blackmail—they pressure you into doing things by threatening to leave.
🔴 What to Watch For:
• They say things like “If you don’t trust me, maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore.”
• They act distant or ignore you until you give in to their demands.
• If you don’t send money, call them, or agree to something, they suddenly stop responding.
✅ What to Do:
• Call their bluff—if they stop talking to you, they weren’t serious anyway.
• Don’t chase after them—real love isn’t based on threats.
• Block and move on if they try to manipulate you emotionally.
📌 Smart Question to Ask: “Are you ending this conversation because I have reasonable questions?”
🚩 7. Their Stories Change Over Time
Scammers and liars struggle to keep their lies straight.
🔴 What to Watch For:
• They tell one story today and a different version later.
• They forget details they already told you.
• They get angry or defensive when you notice inconsistencies.
✅ What to Do:
• Ask specific questions about their past—see if their answers match later.
• If they contradict themselves, don’t let them gaslight you into believing you “misunderstood.”
• Trust your gut—honest people don’t change their stories.
📌 Smart Question to Ask: “Wait, I thought you said your job was in finance, but now you’re in construction?”
Final Thoughts: Stay Safe & Trust Your Gut
Online dating can be a great way to meet people, but scammers and manipulators are everywhere. If someone raises multiple red flags, don’t ignore your instincts—protect yourself and walk away.
💡 Remember:
✔ Never send money—real love doesn’t come with financial requests.
✔ Insist on real video calls—don’t accept poor connections as an excuse.
✔ Watch for emotional manipulation—guilt trips, anger, and threats are red flags.
✔ Listen to your gut—if something feels off, it probably is.
👀 Have you encountered any red flags while dating online? Share your experiences in the comments!
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